“A packet of condoms please,” said the man to the sales
“What size, sir?” she asked.
“Er…I don’t know.”
“Well, that’s no problem,” she replied. “If you go into the
other room, you’ll find a board with a selection of different
holes. Just pop your todger in them until you find the right
So the man did as he was told, little realising that every time
he tried a different hole, the sales assistant was on the other
side fondling it. Eventually, he was satisfied he had found
the correct size, so returned to the counter.
“Everything alright, sir?” she asked.
“Couldn’t be better,” he replied, “but forget the condoms,
just sell me the board.”