A very inebriated lady walked into a bar…

A very inebriated lady walked into a bar shortly before closing
time, sat at the bar and ordered, Barbender, barbender, I would
like a Martoutsy.
The bartender brought her a Martini, which she drinks in one gulp.
Barbender, I would like another Martoutsy, again the bartender
brought her a Martini. By this time the lady is leaning heavily
forward, barely able to hang on.
She called, Barbender, your Martoutsys are giving me heartburn.
Patiently, the bartender came near her and said, Lady, I am not a
barbender, but a bartender, and what you have been drinking is not a
Martoutsy, but a Martini, and finally, you do not have heartburn,
your tit is hanging in the ashtray.

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