When does a person decide to become an accountant? When he realises he doesnt have the charisma to succeed as an undertaker.
When do accountants laugh out loud? When somebody asks for a raise.
Whats the most wicked thing a group of young accountants can do? Go into town and gang-audit someone.
Whats the definition of unlikely? A photo-spread in Playboy titled The Worlds Top Accountants – Nude!
Whats the definition of an accountant? Someone who solves a problem you didnt know you had in a way you dont understand.
Whats the definition of a good tax accountant? Someone who has a loophole named after him.
Whats an extroverted accountant? One who looks at your shoes while hes talking to you instead of his own.
Whats an actuary? An accountant without the sense of humour.
Whats an accountants idea of trashing his hotel room? Refusing to fill out the guest comment card.
Whats a shy and retiring accountant? An accountant who is half a million shy and thats why hes retiring.