Category Archives: Airplane Jokes

How to land a plane: Top 10 things you need to know…

Like the brave passenger who managed to land an airplane himself last night, you might need these handy hints. One brave passenger managed to land an airplane himself last night after the pilot fell ill and passed out. With the help of staff at the control tower at Humberside Airport, the passenger successfully landed the plane without anyone getting hurt. Have you ever wondered what you would do if the pilot became unconscious? If there is no one else capable of flying the plane, the safety of passengers may depend on you making several important decisions. Here’s our handy guide on how to land a plane.

1. The captain usually sits in the left seat where the majority of instruments are. Fasten your seat-belt and shoulder harness if there is one.

2. Level the aircraft. If the plane is noticeably ascending, descending, or turning, gently bring the plane into a level flight altitude. Adjust the flight altitude by pulling the yoke – the plane’s equivalent of a steering wheel – toward you to bring the nose up or push it forward to lower the nose. You can correct bank (turning) by rotating the yoke left or right to turn in that direction.

3. Look for the altitude indicator. Sometimes called the artificial horizon, it consists of a miniature set of “wings” and a picture of the horizon. The top is blue and the bottom is brown. On some aircraft, the altitude indicator is displayed on a computer screen in front of the pilot. Make sure you stay level with the horizon using this guide.

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Pushing the envelope

When it comes to testing new aircraft or determining maximum performance, pilots like to talk about “pushing the envelope.” They’re talking about a two dimensional model: the bottom is zero altitude, the ground; the left is zero speed; the top is max altitude; and the right, maximum velocity, of course. So, the pilots are pushing that upper-right-hand corner of the envelope. What everybody tries not to dwell on is that that’s where the postage gets canceled, too.