Does your brother keep himself clean? Oh, yes. He takes a bath every month whether he needs one or not.
Doctor: Your system needs freshening up a bit. I suggest you take a cold bath every morning. Patient: Oh, but I do, doctor. Doctor: You do? Patient: Yes, every morning I take a nice cold bath and fill it with nice hot water!
Doctor: The best time to take a bath is before retiring. Patient: You mean I dont need another bath until Im sixty-five?
Doctor: And did you drink your medicine after your bath, Mrs Soap? Mrs Soap: No, doctor. By the time Id drunk the bath there wasnt room for medicine.
Did you hear about the idiot who had a new bath put in? The plumber said, Would you like a plug for it? The idiot replied, Oh, I didnt know it was electric.
Boy: Dad, dad, theres a spider in the bath. Dad: Whats wrong with that? Youve seen spiders before. Boy: Yes, but this one is three feet wide and using all the hot water!
Are you going to take a bath? No, Im leaving it where it is.
Adam: How did Mummy know you hadnt had a bath? Eve: I forgot to dirty the towel, wet the soap and flood the bathroom.
A man walked into a lodge in Yellowstone National Park. Can you give me a room and bath? he asked the clerk.I can give you a room, the clerk said. But youll have to take the bath by yourself!
1. Stick your palm open under the stall wall and ask your neighbor, May I borrow a highlighter?
2. Say Uh oh, I knew I shouldn’t put my lips on that.
3. Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the silence with a bodily function noise.
4. Say, Hmmm, I’ve never seen that color before.
5. Drop a marble and say, oh shoot!! My glass eye!!
6. Say Darn, this water is cold.
7. Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a high place six to eight feet. Sigh relaxingly.
8. Say, Now how did that get there?
9. Say, Humus. Reminds me of humus.
10. Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it erratically under the stall walls of your neighbors while yelling, Whoa! Easy boy!!
11. Say, Interesting….more sinkers than floaters.
12. Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a wad of toilet paper and drop it under the stall wall of your neighbor. Then say, Whoops, could you kick that back over here, please?
13. Say. C’mon Mr. Happy! Don’t fall asleep on me!!
14. Say, Boy, that sure looks like a maggot
15. Say, Darn, I Knew that drain hole was a little too small. Now what am I gonna do?
16. Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on your butt cheeks.
17. Before you unroll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down your Cross-Dressers Anonymous newsletter on the floor visible to the adjacent stall.
18. Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall and adjust it so you can see your neighbor and say, Peek-a-boo!
19. Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and sing Born Free
20. When you’re in a bathroom stall take a Snickers candy bar with you and when someone is next to you, squish it in your hand and reach under the stall wall and say You got any more toilet paper over there, This side’s completely out.