Why couldnt the bicycle stand up for itself? Because it was two-tyred.
Why cant an elephant ride a bicycle? Because he doesn’t have a thumb to ring the bell.
Why cant a bicycle stand up by itself? Because it is two-tired (too tired).
While crossing the US-Mexican border on his bicycle, the man was stopped by a guard who pointed to two sacks the man had on his shoulders. Whats in the bags?, asked the guard.Sand, said the cyclist.Get them off – well take a look, said the guard. The Cyclist did as he was told, emptied the bags, and proving they contained nothing but sand, reloaded the bags, put them on his shoulders and continued across the border. Two weeks later, the same thing happened. Again the guard demanded to see the two bags, which again contained nothing but sand. This went on every week for six months, until one day the cyclist with the sand bags failed to appear. A few days later, the guard happened to meet the cyclist downtown. Say friend, you sure had us crazy, said the guard. We knew you were smuggling something across the border. I wont say a word – but what is it you were smu ggling? Bicycles!
Which is the cheapest bicycle you can buy? A penny-farthing.
Which Elizabethan sailor could stop bikes? Sir Francis Brake!
When is a bicycle not a bicycle? When it turns into a driveway.
Whats the hardest thing about learning to ride a bicycle? The road.
What is a ghost-proof bicycle? One with no spooks in it.
What do you get if you cross a chemical and a bicycle? Bike carbonate of soda!