Have you seen Stieve wonders house? -neither did he
A blind rabbit and a blind snake ran into each other on the road one day. The snake reached out, touched the rabbit and said, “You’re soft and fuzzy and have floppy ears. You must be a rabbit.” The rabbit reached out, touched the snake and said, “You’re slimy, beady-eyed and low to the ground. You must be a math teacher.”
Where do blind sparrows go for treatment? The Birds Eye counter!
Q: How did a blind woman pierce her ear? A: Answering the stapler.
There were those three guys, a priest, a doctor and an engineer, and they were playing golf. But the group before them was extremely slow and at each hole they waited hours. Finally the priest asked around, why was that other group was so slow? He was told that they were very courageous firemen who saved the golf course a couple of years ago from a terrible fire, in which they all lost their sight. As a proof of appreciation they were given the right to play on the course whenever they wanted. They like that a lot, but being blind they are just not too good at hitting the ball, let alone finding it after it’s hit. The priest said, “Oh my this is terrible. Tonight I’ll say a little prayer for these courageous souls.” The doctor heard that and said “Don’t worry. I’ll send them to a friend of mine, he’s an ophtalmologist and he works wonders.” The engineer said “Wait. Why can’t they just play at night?”
Did you hear about the blind porcupine? He fell in love with a pincushion!
Two blind man at a cinema: “Can you see something?” “No”. “Then let’s go in front!”
A teacher at a school for blind kids is taking his school’s soccer team to an “away game”. They stop for a rest break, and to let the kids work off some energy with a little impromptu practice in a nearby pasture. The teacher is sitting in a nearby diner, explaining to another patron how it is that blind kids can play soccer. “We made a special ball, with a bell in it, so the kids can keep track of where the ball is and what it’s doing by listening for it. They’re pretty good at it too.” “Very clever!” remarks the other patron. Just then they are interrupted as another patron, who is looking out the window, says, “Hey! Are you the guy with those damn blind kids from the bus?” “Yes,” says the teacher, stung by the way “his” kids are being refered to, “what about it? You got something against blind kids?” “Nothing, ordinarily,” says the guy, still scowling out the window, “but you better get them rounded up quick! They’re kicking the hell out of my best milk cow!”
A blind man was waiting to cross the road when a dog stopped and cocked its leg against him. The blind man felt in his pocket for a sweet, bent down, and offered it to the dog. A passerby remarked what a very kind act that was considering what the dog had done. “Not at all,” said the blind man. “I only wanted to find out which end to kick.”
What is the difference between a blind man and a sailor in prison? One can’t see to go, the other can’t go to sea.