Category Archives: Blood Jokes

If you had been in President Clinton’s place, would you have resigned?

Nominated for quote of the year is the statement made by Texas Congressman Dick Armey when asked: “If you had been in President Clinton’s place, would you have resigned?”

Armey responded: “If I were in the President’s place, I would not have gotten a chance to resign. I would be laying in a pool of my own blood, looking up and listening to Mrs. Armey saying, “How do I reload this damn thing?”

Three vampires walk into a bar…

Three vampires walk into a bar. The bartender looks at him suspiciously, but decides to serve them anyway. “Whatll be, boys?”

The first vampire says “Blood. Give me blood.”

The second vampire says “I too wish for blood!”

The third vampire says “Give me plasma.”

The Bartender smiles and says “Got it. Two bloods, and a blood-light.”

A man walks into a bar with a dead rabbit…

A man walks into a bar with a dead rabbit. The people in the bar say “how did you get that?” Then the man says “me follow tracks me find rabbit. Then another man comes in with a dead deer and the people say “how did you get that?” He says me follow tracks me find deer. Then another man comes in and there is blood all over him and the people say “what happened?” and the man says “me follow trcks me get hit by train”

Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat…

Three Texas cowboys went to a steakhouse to eat. Each was trying to impress the others.

The first man ordered his steak “rare — red rare.”

The second said, “Just pass mine through the flames and singe it a little. I want to see blood dripping out of it.”

Not to be outdone, the third man said, “Aw, just turn the bull loose and I’ll tear off a hunk as he goes by.”