Cross-eyed monster: When I grow up I want to be a bus driver. Witch: Well, I wont stand in your way.
Conductor, this bus was very slow! Oh, I expect well pick up speed now youre getting off!
Conductor, do you stop at the Savoy Hotel? I should say not, on my salary!
Bus passenger: Id like a ticket to New York, please. Ticket seller: By Buffalo? Bus passenger: Of course not, Im in the bus queue, arent I?
As the bus came to the stop, the man at the front of the queue took out his eye, threw it up in the air and caught it before getting on the bus. An amazed conductor said, What on earth did you do that for? I wanted to know if there was room on top, replied the man.
A man trying to get on an overcrowded bus was pushed off by the people inside. Theres no room, they said. Its full up! But you must let me on! shouted the man. Why, whats so special about you? they asked. Im the driver, replied the man.
A man standing at a bus stop was eating a hamburger. Next to him stood a lady with her little dog, which became very excited at the smell of the mans supper and began whining and jumping up at him. Do you mind if I throw him a bit? said the man to the lady. Not at all, she replied, whereupon the man picked the dog up and threw it over a wall.