Why did the electrician close early on Mondays? Because business was very light.
Why did the doughnut maker retire? He was fed up with the hole business.
When the office photo-copies began to look faint, the office manager called in a local repair service. The friendly technician after inspecting the equipment, informed the manager that the machine was in need of a good cleaning. The tech suggested that someone might try reading the operators manual and perform the job themselves, since it would cost $100.00, if he did the work. Pleasantly surprised by his candor, the office manager asks, Does your boss know you are discouraging business? Actually, my boss demands we explain this to all our customers. After people try first to fix things themselves, we end-up making much more money on repairs
When I asked my boss for a salary rise because I was doing the work of three men he said he couldnt increase my pay, but if I told him the names of the three men hed fire them.
When Bernard got fired from his last job they were really tough. They made him hand back his keys to the executive toilets, return his company credit card, give back his company car, and even give back his ulcer!
When Abraham Liebowitz gets to school he discovers that he is the only Jewish kid in the class. But its a decent town and nobody really bothers him. One day the teacher asks the class Who was the greatest person who ever lived? and why? And to make it interesting she held a twenty dollar bill in the air and said whoever gives the best answer will get this twenty dollars. All of the kids called out their guesses. One said George Washington – because he was the father of our country. Thats excellent said the teacher. Another said Abraham Lincoln – because he freed the slaves. Thats also good said the teacher, reluctant to bestow an excellent, but still being polite. One little girl said Joan of Arc – because she saved France. Another excellent choice said the teacher. Then Abraham Liebowitz, raised his hand. nSo the teacher called on him. Abraham, who do you think was the greatest person who ever lived, and why? And Abraham said Jesus Christ. The teacher was shocked. Abraham, she said Im very surprised. Class, I think we can all agree that Abraham should get the twenty dollars. And she handed Abraham Liebowitz the money. At recess, the teacher was still very impressed. So she asked Abraham why he said Jesus. Abraham said Look, personally I think Moses was the greatest person who ever lived, but… business is business!
What happens when business is slow at a medicine factory? You can hear a cough drop.
What did the ruthless businessman say to his employees? If at first you dont succeed – youre fired!
What business is King Kong in? Monkey business.
Two neighbors were talking about work, when one asked, Say, why did the foreman fire you? Replied the second, Well, you know how a foreman is always standing around and watching others do the work. My foreman got jealous. People started thinking I was the foreman.