The difference between a New Yorker seeing his CAR being vandalized & a Canadian seeing HIS car being vandalized is: The New Yorker will yell “EH!!!! Wot you think yur DOING??” The Canadian will yell “Wot you think yur doing EH!!???”
Q: What do urine samples and Canadian beer have in common? A: The taste.
An Englishman, a Canadian and an American were captured by terrorists. The terrorist leader said, “Before we shoot you, you will be allowed last words. Please let me know what you wish to talk about.” The Englishman replied, “I wish to speak of loyalty and service to the crown.” The Canadian replied, “Since you are involved in a question of national purpose, national identity, and secession, I wish to talk about the history of constitutional process in Canada, special status, distinct society and uniqueness within diversity.” The American replied, “Just shoot me before the Canadian starts talking.”
10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground. 9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme. 8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge frigging shotguns and cover your house in their skins. 7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground. 6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise. 5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe? 4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground. 3. You can play hockey 12 months a year, outdoors. 2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground. 1. It beats being an American.
A Canadian bloke is walking down the street with a case of beer under his arm. His friend Randy stops him and asks, “Hey Dave! Whatcha got that case of beer for?” “Well, I got it for my wife, you see?” answers Dave. “Wow,” exclaims Randy, “Great trade.
A French guest who was staying in a hotel in Edmonton phoned room service for some pepper. “Black pepper, or white pepper?” asked the concierge. “Toilette pepper!”