Wouldnt it be nice to tell the Dean of your college what you REALLY think about him/her? Well, if you like your Dean as much as I like my Dean, then youd better keep your mouth shut. I knew Id get kicked out of the college if I expressed my true feelings, so I remained silent for the last four years.But yesterday was my graduation. And as I walked across the stage, the Dean handed my diploma to me (nicely scrolled and tied with a ribbon).Once she handed it to me, I could finally tell that bitch what I REALLY thought about her. So I leaned across her podium and I looked her straight in the eye.Hey Bitch, I said. Youre so damn ugly, you could practice birth control just by leaving the lights on!And then I walked off the stage, and went home. I gotta tell you that it felt just as good as I had imagined it would for the last four years.Today, I unwrapped my diploma, fr amed it, and hung it in the living room, where it proudly exclaims to the world: In order to receive your diploma, please present this certificate to the Dean of your college after final grades have been posted!
Why dont Purdue athletes eat pickles? They cant get their heads in the jar.
Why do University of Arkansas graduates tape their diplomas to the windshields of their cars? So they can park in handicapped spaces.
Why did the University of Oklahoma researcher stay awake every night? He was trying to find a cure for insomnia.
Why did the Oregon State psychology major climb up the chain link fence? To see what was on the other side.
Whats the difference between an American student and an English student? About 3000 miles!
What is the second stupidest thing in the world? An Arkansas architectural student out in the middle of the ocean trying to build a foundation for a house. What is the stupidest thing in the world? An Arkansas contractor trying to build a house on the foundation.
What is a Furman freshman doing when he grasps at thin air? Collecting his thoughts.
What does the N on the Nebraska football helmet stand for? Nowledge.
What do you get when you cross a Texas Aggie with an ape? A retarded ape.