What do you get if you cross a student and an alien? Something from another universe -ity!
What do you call ten Utah State law students standing ear to ear? A wind tunnel.
What do they call a bunch of Mississippi football players standing in a circle holding hands? A dope ring.
Two storks are sitting in their nest: a father stork and baby stork. The baby stork is crying and crying and father stork is trying to calm him. Dont worry, son. Your mother will come back. Shes only bringing people babies and making them happy.The next night, its fathers turn to do the job. Mother and son are sitting in the nest, the baby stork is crying, and mother is saying, Son, your father will be back as soon as possible, but now hes bringing joy to new mommies and daddies.A few days later, the storks parents are desperate: their son has been absent from the nest all night! Shortly before dawn, he returns and the parents ask him where hes been all night.The baby stork says, No where. Just scaring the hell out of college students!
Two Kentucky psychology majors were walking through the campus. Do you consider a 1441.Q. high? Yes! For the whole basketball team?
Two college students, Frank and Matt, are riding on a New York City subway when a beggar approaches them asking for spare change. Frank adamantly rejects the man in disgust. Matt, on the other hand, whips out his wallet, pulls out a couples of singles and gladly hands them over to the beggar with a smile.The beggar thanks him kindly and then continues on to the other passengers. Frank is outraged by his friends act of generosity. What on earth did you do that for? shouts Frank. You know hes only going to use it on drugs or booze. Matt replies, And we werent?
Tipton and Baldwin shared a room on the North Carolina campus. One day Tipton came in and said to his roommate, I hear theres a new case of herpes in the dorm. Great! said Baldwin. I was getting tired of 7-Up!
Three students from Michigan State, the University of Kentucky and Texas A & M on summer vacation in France were caught smuggling cocaine and sentenced to death by guillotine. The judge turned to the boy from Michigan and asked, Do you have any final words, son? Yeah, drop dead! snapped the Wolverine. Hearing this, the judge signaled for the sentence to be carried out. The executioner pulled the lever, and as the crowd gaped in astonishment, the giant blade came to a screeching halt three inches from the victims throat. Its Gods will! Let him go! cried the judge. Next the fella from U. of Kentucky was put on the block, and the judge asked again, And what are your final remarks, my boy? Go to hell! shouted the student, and the judge signaled. The razor-sharp blade fell and miraculously stopped just a quarter inch from the condemned boys neck. Its the wi ll of God! exclaimed the judge. Set him free! Finally the Texan was put into position. Before youre beheaded, said the judge, do you have any last words? Yeh! replied the Aggie. If yall will just put a little more grease on them grooves, the bladell come down a whole lot easier!
The female dormitory will be out-of-bounds for all male students, so too the male dormitory to the female students. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time. Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60. Being caught a third time will incur a hefty fine of $180. Are there any questions? At this, a male student in the crowd inquires, Er… How much for a season pass?