A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks.For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from PHANTOM OF THE OPERA. When you and I get out of here, the jailbird said to the fly. were going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune. Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate. At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking. What about this fly, eh? he said to the bartender. In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper THE EDMONTON SUN, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe. Glad you saw it, muttered the bartender. Blasted things are eve rywhere.
A police officer was escorting a prisoner to jail when his hat blew off. Shall I run and get it for you? asked the prisoner obligingly. You must think Im daft, said the officer. You stand here and Ill get it.
A murderer, sitting in the electric chair, was about to be executed.Have you any last requests? asked the chaplain.Yes, replied the murderer. Will you hold my hand?
A mafiosos son sits at his desk writing a Christmas list to Jesus. He first writes, Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy the whole year, so I want a new… He looks at it, then crumples it up into a ball and throws it away. He gets out a new piece of paper and writes again, Dear baby Jesus, I have been a good boy for most of the year, so I want a new… He again looks at it with disgust and throws it away. He then gets an idea. He goes into his mothers room, takes a statue of the Virgin Mary, puts it in the closet, and locks the door. He takes another piece of paper and writes, Dear baby Jesus. If you ever want to see your mother again…
A computer geek goes to prison for fraud, they put him in a cell with a 300LB guy, Having heard what happens to geeks in prison and being nervous he figures he had better introduce himself, He extends his hand and says with a quivering voice, Hi my name is John Smith.The big guy who actually is a nice guy extends his and says my name is Turner Brown.The geek passes out. The big guy fans him and brings him too. Why did you pass out he asked? The geek replies, what did you say your name was? Turner Brown he replies. Oh God the geek says I thought you said TURN AROUND.
A boy is in a prison cell with no windows and no doors: there are no holes in the ceiling or trapdoors in the floor, yet in the morning the jailers find him gone. How did he get out? Through the doorway – there were no doors remember!
What makes you think the prisoner was drunk? asked the judge. Well, Your Honor, replied the arresting officer, I saw him lift up a manhole cover and walk away with it, and when I asked him what it was for he said, I want to listen to it on my record-player!
Dad, said Fred to his father, who was a bank robber. I need $50 for the school trip tomorrow. OK, son, said his dad, Ill get you the cash when the bank closes.