With the divorce rate so high in America, a new organization has been formed called Marriage Anonymous. Whenever a guy feels like getting married, they send over a woman with crulers in her hair, cream on her face and wearing a torn housecoat to nag him out of it.
What do a hurricane, a tornado, a fire and a divorce have in common? They are four ways you can lose your house!
Two men are talking. The first sez, I got married because I was tired of eating out, cleaning the house, doing the laundry and wearing shabby clothes.Amazing, said the second, I just got divorced for the very same reasons.
The divorce court was attentive as the wealthy Yuppette complained to the Judge that her husband had left her bed and board.When she had finished, the husbands lawyer rose to his feet and coolly replied, Your Honor, I have a slight correction in the typing of the charging documents. My client claims that he left her bed bored.
Staring down from the bench to announce the terms of the divorce decree, the judge turned to the husband and said:I’m going to award her alimony in the amount of $250 a month. To which the womans about-to-be ex replied: Thats mighty kind of you, judge. Ill try to help her all I can, too.
Speaking of divorce (I was), this woman petitions the court for a divorce on the grounds that her husband beats her. The Judge,wanting every detail asked how often it was he beat the woman.Every damn time your Honor, she sighed, Every damn time !
Ruby Alice walked up to the desk of a Bowling Green motel and signed the register with the letter O. Whyd you put that circle down? asked the clerk. Cause Ah cant write, replied the girl. Why don’t you sign with an X? asked the man. Ah used to, she answered. But when Ah got me a divorce, Ah took back mah maiden name!
Regardless of what you may hear, theres still many women these days who are excellent housekeepers. Seems each time they get a divorce,they keep the house.
Ralph was driving home one evening and realized that it was his daughters birthday and he hadn’t bought her a present. He drove to the mall and ran to the toy store and he asked the store manager, How much is that new Barbie in the window? The Manager replied, Which one? We have Barbie goes to the gym for $19.95, Barbie goes to the Ball for $19.95, Barbie goes shopping for $19.95, Barbie goes to the beach for $19.95, Barbie goes to the Nightclub for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $375.00. Why is the Divorced Barbie $375.00 when all the others are $19.95?!?, Ralph asked surprised. The Manager replies, Well, Divorced Barbie comes with Kens car, Kens House, Kens boat, Kens dog, Kens cat and Kens furniture.
Question: Why is divorce so expensive? Answer: Because its worth it.