Category Archives: Elevator Jokes

Get on the elevator with me…

I work in maintenance. Yesterday I asked an old Jamaican lady cleaner I’m familiar with if she was going to “get on the elevator with me”. She said, “no honey, but one day we will get on together” to which I quipped “and then we’ll get off together”. I could hear her laughing three floors below.

Going down?

A man staying in a luxury hotel in Mexico City while Arnold Shwarzenegger was filming Total Recall at the nearby studios. He got in the Elevator with small entourage a couple of floors below with him, then a young woman joined them. As she entered she asked “Going down?” To which the Austrian Oak replied ” If you insist”. 

I met a coworker in the elevator…

I met a coworker in the Elevator. We were friends and she introduced her husband to me. After we talked for a bit, she started to leave. Her husband leaned into me and says “don’t say anything, I’m not really her husband.” I looked him in the eye and replied “I know, I’ve met her husband before.”

Best jokes to tell in a quiet elevator

When you get off and someone else is getting on, look them in the eye and say ‘You’re in charge until I get back’

Number 1, you have the bridge

When you get back in and see the same person (and there were others): “Why did you let them leave? You’re fired.”

The Wall is yours, Jon Snow.

When you are in an elevator with your wife and other strangers are in with you, lean over toward her and say: “do you think your husband knows about us?”

 

A business man got on an elevator in a building…

A business man got on an elevator in a building.  When he entered  theelevator, there was a blonde already inside and she greeted him by  saying, “T-G-I-F”  (letters only).He smiled at her and replied,  “S-H-I-T” (letters only).” She looked at him, puzzled, and said,  “T-G-I-F” again.He acknowledged her remark again by answering,  “S-H-I-T.” The blond was trying to be friendly, so she smiled her  biggest smile and said as sweetly as possibly “T-G-I-F” another time.The  man smiled back to her and once again replied with a quizzical  expression, “S-H-I-T.” The blond finally decided to explain things, and  this time she said, “T-G-I-F,Thank Goodness It’s Friday, get it?” The  man answered, “Sorry, Honey, It’s Thursday.”

A man enters a lift…

A man enters a lift and ask the old operator sitting there to take him to the top floor. The operator takes them to the top floor and opens the door

Operator: There you go, son.

Man: ( Irritatedly ) Don’t call me that, old man. You are not my father.

Operator: Well, I brought you up, didn’t I?