Behind every girl’s selfie is approximately 39, nearly identical photos, that just didn’t make the cut.
Fred: Do you like my new hairstyle?
Harry: In as much as it covers most of your face, yes.
First Witch: I like your toad. He always has such a nice expression on his face.
Second Witch: It’s because he’s a hoptimist.
How did your mom know you hadn’t washed your face?
I forgot to wet the soap.
A woman just back from Arizona was telling her friends about the trip.
“When my husband first saw the Grand Canyon, his face dropped a mile,” she said.
“Why, was he disappointed with the view?”
“No, he fell over the edge.
Boy: You’ve got a face like a million dollars.
Girl: Have I really?
Boy: Yes ? it’s green and wrinkly.
A little boy came running into the kitchen. “Dad, dad,” he said, “there’s a monster at the door with a really ugly face.”
“Tell him you’ve already got one,” said his father.
What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?
The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.