Picture it: rural area, Sunday morning, church is packed and the devil decides to pay a visit.
The doors burst open, and a roiling black cloud rolls in with the devil in its midst. People jump out of the pews and run outdoors, screaming – all except for two. One is the Pastor, the other is an elderly farmer.
Satan is a bit perplexed. He points to the Pastor and says, You! I can understand why you didn’t run away, you are in your Lord’s house, you preach against me everyday and you aren’t afraid of me. But YOU (points to the farmer), why didn’t you run out scared like everyone else?
The farmer crosses one leg over the other and drawls, Why, I’m surprised you don’t recognize me…I’ve been married to your sister for 36 years!
Why was the farmer hopping mad? Because someone had trodden on his corn!
Why did the farmer feed his pigs sugar and vinegar? He wanted sweet and sour pork!
Why are farmers cruel? Because they pull corn by the ears.
What is the difference between a dressmaker and a farmer? A dressmaker sews what she gathers, a farmer gathers what he sows.
What do you call an Arab dairy farmer? A milk sheik.
What did the neurotic pig say to the farmer? You take me for grunted.
What did the farmer say when his fat pig wouldnt fit into the pen? Theres more there than meets the sty.
What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor!
What did the farmer say when all his cows charged him at once? Im on the horns of a dilemma here!