Dads don’t return their Father’s Day gifts to the exchange counter. This means fathers are satisfied with what they got, or too ashamed to let anyone see what they got.
Poor dear father was heard saying to his friend, “My kids don’t value my sense of humor.” On asking why, my dad sadly lamented, “It shows in the Father’s Day card they bought me, which says ‘Get Well’.
Once a teacher asked one of her students, “Mary, do you know what Father’s Day is?” Mary sheepishly replied, “Teacher, Father’s Day is left over of Mother’s Day.”
My son wants 50% of my Father’s Day gifts. He says if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t even be a father.
By tradition, fathers wear a red flower on Father’s Day, if their father is alive and a white flower if he’s dead. And if they have a nagging wife and a house full of screaming kids, they wear a pink flower — which means they are living but wish they were dead.
My dear old dad always said he had two big disappointments in life: the dog ran away and I didn’t.
Father’s Day always worried James. He was afraid that he will get a gift he can’t afford.
What is the perfect Father’s Day gift? Taking your Mom away on a vacation with you.
Father’s Day is the day we honor dear old dad only if we can find him. Good places to look for: – At the golf course — in the rough.
– At the bank — cursing the ATM machine.
– On top of the house — trying to trying to hook up the dish before the game starts.
– Under the car — watching the oil drip.
– At the hardware store, bragging to a total stranger about his kids.