A man calls the fire department and says, Yes, I have just had my front yard landscaped, I have a nice new flower bed, a new fish pond with a fountain and a new rose garden.Very nice, the firefighter says, but what does that have to do with the fire service?Well, the man answers, the house next door is on fire and I dont want you to trample my front yard.
A fireman and policeman died and both went to heaven where they were issued their wings with the warningthat if they had even one bad thought their wings would fall off. Well, everything went well for some time thenone day they passed a very attractive and well put together young lady. As the fireman turned to watch herpass his wings fell off. When he bent over to pick them up the policemans wings fell off.
A firefighter died and went to hell where he finds a wall of clocks.After seeing all these clocks on a wall, with his friends names under them, he asked the devil, what the clocks mean?Thats easy, each time one of your friends mess up on earth, their clock speeds up one hour. says the devil.I dont see the Chiefs clock anywhere? the fireman says.The devil replied, Oh him, we have his down in the basement, were using it for a fan.
A fire started on some grassland near a farm in Indiana. The fire department from the nearby town was called to put the fire out.The fire proved to be more than the small town fire department could handle, so someone suggested that a rural volunteer fire department be called. Though there was doubt that they would be of any assistance, the call was made.The volunteer fire department arrived in a dilapidated old fire truck. They drove straight towards the fire and stopped in the middle of the flames. The volunteer firemen jumped off the truck and frantically started spraying water in all directions. Soon they had snuffed out the center of the fire, breaking the blaze into two easily controllable parts.The farmer was so impressed with the volunteer fire departments work and so grateful that his farm had been spared, that he presented the volunteer fire department with a check for $1000. A local news reporter asked the volunteer fire captain what the department planned to do with the funds.That should be obvious, he responded, the first thing were gonna do is get the brakes fixed on that stupid fire truck.
A fire chief died and went to heaven. When he got there he saw a long line waiting to get in to the pearly gates.He told himself, Im a fire chief, Im not going to wait in line. He went to the angels guarding the gates and said, Let me in. Im a fire chief. The angels replied, Youll haveto wait in line like everyone else, sir.While waiting at the back of the line he saw a sedan pull up with red lights and a man got out wearing a whitehelmet that said CHIEF. The angels popped to attention and let the chief enter heaven. The waiting fire chiefwas pissed and went to talk to the angels.He asked, Why did you let that fire chief go through and not me? To which the angels replied, You have it allwrong, sir. Thats God, he just thinks hes a Fire Chief.
A fire broke out in a six story apartment building last week in a near by town. A blonde, a redhead, and a brunette escaped the flames by climbing up onto the roof.When the fire department arrived they got out a blanket held it up and the Chief called out to the brunette to jump into the blanket.The brunette jumped. As she was falling swoosh the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she landed on the street like a brick.The firefighters then held the blanket back up and the Chief told the redhead to jump.No way! I saw what you did to my friend. exclaimed the redhead.I am sorry said the Chief, My wife was a brunette and she divorced me. I just dont like brunettes. We have no problems with redheads….jump its your only chance.So the redhead jumped. On the way down swoosh the firefighters pulled the blanket away and she hit the pavement like a tomato!The firefighters a gain held up the blanket and the Chief told the blonde to jump. The fire was getting worse and her only chance of survival was to jump.No I am not jumping. I saw what you did to my two friends.Im sorry said the Chief, I explained what happened to the brunette and when the redhead jumped we were a little distracted. It will not happen again, just jump!The blonde thought for a moment. OK Ill jump – but first I want you to lay the blanket on the ground, back away, and then Ill jump into it.