A man was stopped by a game-warden in Northern Algonquin Park recently with two buckets of fish leaving a lake well known for its fishing. The game warden asked the man, Do you have a license to catch those fish? The man replied to the game warden, No, sir. These are my pet fish. Pet fish?! the warden replied. Yes, sir. Every night I take these here fish down to the lake and let them swim around for a while. I whistle and they jump back into their buckets, and I take em home. Thats a bunch of hooey! Fish cant do that! The man looked at the game warden for a moment, and then said, Here, Ill show you. It really works. O.K. Ive GOT to see this! The game warden was curious. The man poured the fish in to the river and stood and waited. After several minutes, the game warden turned to the man and said, Well? Well, what? the man respond ed. When are you going to call them back? the game warden prompted. Call who back? the man asked.The FISHWhat fish? the man asked.
A man was fishing in the jungle. After a while another angler came to join him. Have you had any bites? asked the second man. Yes, lots, replied the first one, but they were all mosquitoes.
A guy rings his boss and says I cant come to work today. The boss asks why and the guy says its my eyes.Whats wrong with your eyes? asks the boss.I just cant see myself coming to work, so Im going fishing instead…
A fisherman returned to shore with a giant marlin that was bigger and heavier than he. On the way to the cleaning shed, he ran into a second fisherman who had a stringer with a dozen baby minnows. The second fisherman looked at the marlin, turned to the first fisherman and said, Only caught one, eh?
A father and son went fishing one day. While they were out in the boat, the boy suddenly became curious about the world around him. He asked his father, How does this boat float?The father replied, Dont rightly know son. A little later, the boy looked at his father and asked, How do fish breath underwater?Once again the father replied, Dont rightly know son. A little later the boy asked his father, Why is the sky blue?Again, the father repied. Dont rightly know son. Finally, the boy asked his father, Dad, do you mind my asking you all of these questions?The father replied, Of course not, you dont ask questions, you never learn nothin.
A couple of young guys were fishing at their special pond off the beaten track when out of the bushes jumped the game warden. Immediately, one of the boys threw his rod down and started running through the woods like a bat out of hell and hot on his heels came the game warden. After about a half mile, the guy stopped and stooped over with his hands on his thighs to catch his breath and the game warden finally caught up to him. Lets see yer fishin license, boy! the warden gasped. With that, the guy pulled out his wallet and gave the game warden a valid fishing license. Well, son, said the Game Warden. You must be about as dumb as a box of rocks! You dont have to run from me if you have a valid license! Yes sir, replied the young feller. But my friend back there, well, he dont have one…
Whats the biggest fish you ever caught? That would be the one that measured fourteen inches…. Thats not so big! Between the eyes?
I didnt see you in church last Sunday, Nigel. I hear you were out playing football instead. Thats not true, vicar. And Ive got the fish to prove it!
I caught a twenty pound salmon last week. Were there any witnesses?There sure were. If there hadnt been, it would have been forty pounds.
Do you really believe your husband when he tells you he goes fishing every weekend? asked Janes best friend.Why shouldnt I? said Jane.Well, maybe he is having an affair?No way said Jane he never returns with any fish…