There once was this guy named Gored
Whose girlfriend was as flat as a board
He’d suck as hard as he could
And pulled them more then he should
But soon even Gored got bored.
There was an old lady from Wheeling,
who had a funny feeling
she laid on her back,
and tickled her crack
and pissed all over the ceiling
There was a young gypsy girl Rose
With obsessions for gentlemens’ hose
Up her pussy, her rear,
In her mouth and each ear
And her cute little freckle-tipped nose.
There once was a man from Monclair
Who screwed his wife on the stair,
The banister broke,
He quickened his stroke
And finished her off in the air.
Gorgey Porgey puddin and Pie.
Jerked off in his girlfriends eye.
When her eye was good and shut,
Gorgey Fucked that one eyed slut.
There once was a man from Peru
who fell asleep in a canoe
while dreaming of Venus
he played with his penis
and woke up all covered with goo
There once was a security guard
Who had some troubles keeping it hard
He jerked it off nightly
And squeezed it tightly
while looking at his identification card.
There once was a dog named Jerm
who liked to slurp up worms.
He got sick to his stomach
and began to vomit
and now Jerm no longer eats worms.
There was once a man from space
Who decided to run in a race
He tripped on a stone
Ran all the way home
That funny old man from space.
There was an old lady named Crockett,
who went to plug in a socket,
she opened the door,
then fell through the floor,
and came roaring back down like a rocket!