To be happy with a man you must understand him a lot & love him a little. To be happy with a woman you must love her a lot & not try to understand her at all.
A MAN’S GUIDE TO WHAT A WOMAN IS REALLY SAYING:
I JUST NEED SOME SPACE.
…. without you in it.
DO I LOOK FAT IN THIS DRESS?
We haven’t had a fight in a while.
NO, PIZZA’S FINE.
…. you cheap slob!
I JUST DON’T WANT A BOYFRIEND NOW.
I just don’t want you as a boyfriend now.
I DON’T KNOW, WHAT DO YOU WANT TO DO?
I can’t believe you have nothing planned.
My puppy does this, too.
I LIKE YOU, BUT…
I don’t like you.
YOU NEVER LISTEN.
You never listen.
I’LL BE READY IN A MINUTE.
I’m ready, but I’m going to make you wait because I know you will.
OH, NO, I’LL PAY FOR MYSELF.
I’m just being nice; there’s no way I’m going dutch.
OH YES!!! RIGHT THERE!!
Well, near there; I just want to get this over with.
I’M JUST GOING OUT WITH THE GIRLS.
We’re gonna make fun of you and your friends.
The last fight was my fault. My wife asked, What’s on the TV? and I said, Dust!
What are two reasons why women don’t mind their own business?
1) No mind.
2) No business.