Men Are Like:
Bank Accounts- Without a lot of money, they don’t generate much interest.
Blenders- You need one, but you’re not quite sure why.
Chocolate Bars- Sweet, smooth, and they usually head right for your hips.
Coffee- The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Commercials- You can’t believe a word they say.
Computers- Hard to figure out and never have enough memory.
Coolers- Load them with beer and you can take them anywhere.
Copiers- You need them for reproduction, but that’s about it.
Curling Irons- They’re always hot, and they’re always in your hair.
Government Bonds- They take so long to mature.
Horoscopes- They always tell you what to do and are usually wrong.
Lava Lamps- Fun to look at, but not all that bright.
Mascara- They usually run at the first sign of emotion.
Parking Spots- The good ones are already taken and the ones that are left are either handicapped or extremely small.
Popcorn- They satisfy you, but only for a little while..

I sat, as did millions of other Americans, and watched as our government underwent a peaceful transition of power. I was proud as Mr. Bush took his oath of office.

I was sad as I watched Mr. Clinton board Air Force One for the final time. It may surprise you that this made me sad, but watching this part of the days festivities, I saw 21 U.S.
Marines, in full dress, with rifles, fire a 21 gun salute to the outgoing President.

It was then that I realized how far America’s military had deteriorated.

Every last one of them missed.

I stand by all the misstatements that I’ve made. — Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

I love California. I practically grew up in Phoenix. — Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

If you let that sort of thing go on, your bread and butter will be cut right out from under your feet. — Former British foreign minister Ernest Bevin

What a waste it is to lose one’s mind. Or not to have a mind is being very wasteful. How true that is. — Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle at a fundraising event for the United Negro College Fund. He was attempting to quote the line a mind is a terrible thing to waste

Without censorship, things can get terribly confused in the public mind. — General William Westmoreland

It isn’t pollution that’s harming the environment. It’s the impurities in our air and water that are doing it. — Former U.S. Vice-President Dan Quayle

Half this game is ninety percent mental. — Philadelphia Phillies manager Danny Ozark

I don’t feel we did wrong in taking this great country away from them. There were great numbers of people who needed new land, and the Indians were selfishly trying to keep it for themselves. — John Wayne