Democrats favorite Christmas movie is Miracle on 34th Street. Republicans favorite Christmas movie is Its a Wonderful Life. Right-Wing Republicans favorite Christmas movie is Die Hard.

Democrats favorite Christmas carol is Deck the Halls. Young Democrats favorite Christmas carol is Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. Republicans favorite Christmas carol is White Christmas. Young Republicans favorite Christmas carol is White Christmas.

A very rich businessman asked his small son what he would
like for Christmas.
“A baby brother please,” he replied.
“I’m sorry, son, there’s not enough time, it’s only 3 weeks to
Christmas.”
“Well, can’t you put more men on the job?” the son
suggested.

Q: What does Saddam want for Thanksgiving? A: Turkey.

At a Christmas party in Melbourne last year the staff decided to pull a joke on their boss who had a habit of playing serious practical jokes on everyone else. When he went to the toilet, they went through his wallet and found his Tats Lotto ticket. Then, they wrote down his numbers and called over the waitress to set up a little prank.
She came back half an hour later and asked if anyone wanted to know the night’s Lotto numbers, then proceeded to read them out loud before setting the numbers on the table.
The boss looked at the numbers, then casually pulled out his wallet and compared them. He became really silent, put his wallet back in his jacket and sat down again breathing really rapidly, and looking totally blown away.
After a couple of minutes he pulled out his wallet and Lotto ticket again, and checked the numbers, very carefully.
Then, he sculled his drink, stood up on his chair and shouted out to the whole room:
– I just want to let you all know something. I’ve been having an affair with my secretary for months. I don’t like any of you, and I have hated working for this company. You can all go to Hell, ‘cos I’ve just won a shit-load of money, and I’m leaving!
End of job. End of marriage. End of story.

What did George Washington, Abraham Lincoln, and Christopher Columbus all have in common? They were all born on holidays.

Why were the trick-or-treaters wearing grass skirts? Because it was Hulaween!

Why was the boy unhappy to win the prize for the best costume at the Halloween party? Because he just came to pick up his little sister.

Why is the air so clean and healthy on Halloween? Because so many witches are sweeping the sky.

Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party? He was going as a banana.