What’s the difference between the Browns, Gordon and Derren?
One is an illusionist that through misdirection will have you believing one thing when in fact the other is true whilst giving vague and confusing explanations.
The other can predict the Lottery numbers.
What’s got three pairs of balls and fu*ks you twice a week?
The national lottery.
What’s the difference between the Euro Lottery and my six year old niece?
The Euro Lottery won’t be rolling over this weekend.
I got really addicted a few years ago. Now, each week without fail I’ll use my credit card and do about 3 lines of the stuff. I don’t know how I’d get by without it. At first it gets me all really excited and anxious, but leaves me feeling used and low.
“Just won the lottery. Me and Dave from across the road are at the airport, we’re moving to Paris. I’ve advised that half of the winnings be paid to you so you don’t come after me. Divorce papers are on their way, and you’re not Sally’s Dad. Go Fu*k yourself! Claire x”
Carlsberg don’t do text messages…