You Might be a Marine Wife if: 1. Your mail goes to four addresses in two countries before it reaches you. 2. You earned an Accounting degree by deciphering your husbands LES and running a family on what was ACTUALLY deposited. 3. Savings sounds like a great idea and you hope to someday have some. 4. Sex – see #3. 5. You can simultaneously be a control freak, change plans on a moments notice, yet you are not being treated for schizophrenia. 6. You know the Tricare regulations/procedures better than their service reps. 7. You know what forms you need better than your husbands Admin clerk. 8. You are strangely attracted (or repulsed) by the color green. 9. You can calculate the cost of a 5-minute phone call from any country, any time, on up to four different calling plans. 10. At a distance, you can pick out your husband from 100 other men with identical haircuts and clothes. 11. The face paint in your closet is NOT for your children. 12. Name tapes are not just for kids.
Why did the army send so many women with PMS to the Persian Gulf? They fought like animals and retained water for 4 days.
While practicing auto-rotations during a military night training exercise, a Huey Cobra messes up and lands on its tail rotor. The landing is so hard it breaks off the tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remains upright on its skids, sliding down the runway, doing 360s. As the Cobra slides past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this radio exchange takes place: Tower: Sir, do you need any assistance? Cobra: I dont know, Tower, we aint done crashin yet.
We have women in the military, but they dont put us in the front lines. They dont know if we can fight, if we can kill. I think we can. All the general has to do is walk over to the women and say, You see the enemy over there? They say you look fat in those uniforms.
Two paratrooper recruits in a plane:- Are you crazy, Vasily? You are going to jump without a parachute.- Is it mandatory to wear it?- Sure. Its raining outside.
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days.Why, my outfit was so well drilled, declared one, that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.Very good, conceded the other, but when my company presented arms youd just hear slap, slap, jingle.What was the jingle? asked the first. Oh, replied the other offhand, just our medals.
This Marine drill instructor, completely frazzled by the ineptitude of his recruits, burst into a blue streak of swearing hot enough to blister paint. He broke off suddenly when he noticed one of the recruits had been talking in ranks. WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID, RECRUIT?? the drill sergeant hollered. In a quivering voice, the recruit replied, I said, to myself, Drill Sergeant Sir, if that sucker thinks Im going to stand here and take his crap . . . well, hes certainly an uncanny judge of character.
This is the difference between a lousy Golfer and a lousy Parachutist. The lousy Golfer goes splash then damn. The lousy Parachutist goes damn then splash.
There were three American pilots captured by Germans in WWII. The Germans thought up a way to make the pilots crack and tell what they knew. They made them stand at attention, turn their heads from side to side and say, Tick – Tock over and over.After about three hours, the first pilot cracked and started telling all he knew, signing everything they put in front ofhim. An hour later, the second pilot cracked and started confessing to things that he didnt even do.The third pilot was fighting hard not to crack. He was about half-way cracked. He was turning his head to one side only and saying, Tick…Tick…Tick… The German officer in charge went up to him and said, You thinks you iss so schmart! But Im telling you dot vee haf vays to make you TOCK!
There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions What happened on June 6, 1944? We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir! What was the turning point of world war 2? Battle of the bulge, sir! Whats is the importance of May 12 The Man thought and thought I dont know, sir! The superior then said Well, Ill tell your wife that you forgot her birthday