Category Archives: Military Jokes

You Might be a Marine Wife if…

You Might be a Marine Wife if: 1. Your mail goes to four addresses in two countries before it reaches you. 2. You earned an Accounting degree by deciphering your husbands LES and running a family on what was ACTUALLY deposited. 3. Savings sounds like a great idea and you hope to someday have some. 4. Sex – see #3. 5. You can simultaneously be a control freak, change plans on a moments notice, yet you are not being treated for schizophrenia. 6. You know the Tricare regulations/procedures better than their service reps. 7. You know what forms you need better than your husbands Admin clerk. 8. You are strangely attracted (or repulsed) by the color green. 9. You can calculate the cost of a 5-minute phone call from any country, any time, on up to four different calling plans. 10. At a distance, you can pick out your husband from 100 other men with identical haircuts and clothes. 11. The face paint in your closet is NOT for your children. 12. Name tapes are not just for kids.

While practicing auto-rotations during a military night training exercise…

While practicing auto-rotations during a military night training exercise, a Huey Cobra messes up and lands on its tail rotor. The landing is so hard it breaks off the tail boom. However, the chopper fortunately remains upright on its skids, sliding down the runway, doing 360s. As the Cobra slides past the tower, trailing a brilliant shower of sparks, this radio exchange takes place: Tower: Sir, do you need any assistance? Cobra: I dont know, Tower, we aint done crashin yet.

This Marine drill instructor…

This Marine drill instructor, completely frazzled by the ineptitude of his recruits, burst into a blue streak of swearing hot enough to blister paint. He broke off suddenly when he noticed one of the recruits had been talking in ranks. WHAT WAS THAT YOU SAID, RECRUIT?? the drill sergeant hollered. In a quivering voice, the recruit replied, I said, to myself, Drill Sergeant Sir, if that sucker thinks Im going to stand here and take his crap . . . well, hes certainly an uncanny judge of character.

There were three American pilots captured…

There were three American pilots captured by Germans in WWII. The Germans thought up a way to make the pilots crack and tell what they knew. They made them stand at attention, turn their heads from side to side and say, Tick – Tock over and over.After about three hours, the first pilot cracked and started telling all he knew, signing everything they put in front ofhim. An hour later, the second pilot cracked and started confessing to things that he didnt even do.The third pilot was fighting hard not to crack. He was about half-way cracked. He was turning his head to one side only and saying, Tick…Tick…Tick… The German officer in charge went up to him and said, You thinks you iss so schmart! But Im telling you dot vee haf vays to make you TOCK!

There was this General-in-training…

There was this General-in-training, and his superiors were asking him questions What happened on June 6, 1944? We stormed the beach at Normandy, which later became known as D-Day, sir! What was the turning point of world war 2? Battle of the bulge, sir! Whats is the importance of May 12 The Man thought and thought I dont know, sir! The superior then said Well, Ill tell your wife that you forgot her birthday