You know it’s time to clean out your purse when your car assumes it’s a second passenger who’s not wearing their seatbelt!
I hate going to the mall! I can’t understand how 5 $+ 3 $ +6 $ +4 $ +1 $ equals 232.5 USD? Whaaat? How?
A little old lady walks into the Bank of Canada with a bag of money. She insists that she must speak with the president of the bank.
She tells the bank president that she has accumulated several hundred thousand dollars over the years and would like to open a trust in the bank.
The president is curious, so he asks her, “Where did you get all this money?” The old lady replies, “I make bets.”
The president then asks, “Bets? What kind of bets?”
The old woman says, “Well, for example, I’ll bet you $25,000 that your balls are square.”
“Ha!” laughs the president, “That’s ridiculous — you can never win that kind of bet!”
The old lady challenges, “So, would you like to take my bet?”
“Sure,” says the president, “I’ll bet $25,000 that my balls are not square!”
The little old lady says, “OK. I’ll bring my lawyer with me tomorrow at 10 a.m. as a witness, and we’ll see.”
The next morning, the little old lady appears with her lawyer at the president’s office. “OK,” she says, “Time to drop your pants and settle this bet.”
The president complies. The little old lady peers closely at his balls and asks if she could feel them. “Well, OK,” says the bank president, “since there’s so much money on the line.”
Just then, the lawyer starts banging his head against the wall. The president asks the old lady, “What the hell’s the matter with your lawyer?”
She replies, “I bet him $50,000 that at 10 a.m. today, I’d have the president of the Bank of Canada’s balls in my hand.”
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside? Mum: What crying man? William: The one thats crying, Ice cream! Ice Cream!
Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat? To see if there was any more money in the kitty!
Why was the skunk arrested for counterfeiting?Because he gave out bad scents (cents).
Why shouldnt you carry two half dollars in your pocket? Because two halves make a whole (hole), and you could lose your money.
Why isnt a dime worth as much today as it used to be? Because the dimes (times) have changed.
Why is the moon like a dollar? It has four quarters.
Why is someone who borrows money but does not pay it all back like a football player? Because sometimes he gives you a quarter back and sometimes a half back.