Category Archives: Snake Jokes

There where two snakes talking…

There where two snakes talking.

The 1st one said ‘Sidney, are we the type of snakes who wrap ourselves around our prey and squeeze and crush until they’re dead? Or are we the type of snake who ambush our prey and bite them and they are poisioned?’ .

Then the second Snake says Why do you ask?

The 1st one replies: I just bit my lip!

One day, snake, turtle and centipede are having a party…

One day, snake, turtle and centipede are having a party. After two cases of beer are gone, they want to go get some more beers. So they discuss who’s going to go get the beers. The turtle says, I will go, you both just wait here. Two hours later, the turtle hasn’t back yet, so the centipede says, “I will go. ” So they open the door and see, turtle still walking out of the door. Because turtle walk too slow, the centipede says, “You both wait for me to come back, I got a lot of legs, I can walk fast. ” So the snake and the turtle, wait for another two hours. Finally the snake is says, “What will take centipedes that long? So they open the door and check, wow, centipedes still at the front of the door, he is still putting on his shoes. Finally, snake said “let me go, I can walk fast, and no feet to put on shoes. ” So snake went. After three hours, snake wasn’t back yet. Both of them went to the store and see. And they saw snake stand there. And the snake says, Don’t give me that dirty look, only took me 5 minutes to the store, but I am still figuring out how to bring the beer back.

Rabbit and Snake

One day there was a rabbit and a snake who were both growing old and could not remember what animal they were.

OK I’ll describe you and then see if you can guess what you are. said the snake.

That’s a good idea. said the rabbit.

You are white, fluffy, and you have big ears and feet. said the snake.

Oh good, I’m a rabbit! So the rabbit says, You are long, slim, and have a forked tongue.

Oh NO, I’m a lawyer!

Snake and a rabbit were racing along a pathway…

A snake and a rabbit were racing along a pair of intersecting forest pathways one day, when they collided at the intersection.

They immediately began to argue with one another as to who was at fault for the mishap.

When the snake remarked that he had been blind since birth, and thus should be given additional leeway, the rabbit said that he, too, had been blind since birth.

The two animals then forgot about the collision and began commiserating concerning the problems of being blind.

The snake said that his greatest regret was the loss of his identity. He had never been able to see his reflection in the water, and for that reason did not know exactly what he looked like, or even what he was.

The rabbit declared that he had the same problem.

Seeing a way that they could help each other, the rabbit proposed that one feel the other from head to toe, and then try to describe what the other animal was.

The snake agreed, and started by winding himself around the rabbit. After a few moments, he announced:

You`ve got very soft, fuzzy fur, long ears, big rear feet, and a little fuzzy ball for a tail. I think that you must be a bunny rabbit!

The rabbit was much relieved to find his identity, and proceeded to return the favor to the snake. After feeling about the snake’s body for a few minutes, he asserted,

Well, you`re scaly, you`re slimy, you`ve got beady little eyes, you squirm and slither all the time, and you`ve got a forked tongue. I think you`re a lawyer!

A snake and a rabbit met each other in the dark

A snake and a rabbit met each other in the dark. ‘What do you look like?’ , the snake asked.

‘I’ve got long ears, two big hind legs and a fluffy tail’

‘Aha’ the snake said ‘then you must be a rabbit’

‘Yes, I am. What do you look like?’ the rabbit asked.

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‘I’m bald all over my body and I’ve got no ears’ the snake said.

‘Aha’ the rabbit said, ‘then you must be Niki Lauda’

The rabbit and the snake joke

A blind rabbit and a blind snake meet each other. Neither one remembers what kind of animal they are, so they decide to feel each other.

The rabbit says, You feel me first. The snake says okay, and he starts feeling the rabbit.

He says, Well, you have fur all over, and a little cotton tail, and two long ears, and big back feet…

The rabbit says, I know! I’m a rabbit! Yippee! Then the rabbit feels the snake.
He says, Okay, you’re long and thin, and slimy all over, and there’s a little forked tongue…

The snake says, Oh no, I’m a lawyer.

Blind bunny, meet blind snake

One morning a blind bunny was hopping down the bunny trail, and he tripped

over a large snake and fell, KerPlop! , right on his twitchy little nose. Oh,

please excuse me! said the bunny. I didn’t mean to trip over you, but I’m

blind and can’t see.

That’s perfectly all right, replied the snake. To be sure, it was my fault.

I didn’t mean to trip you, but I’m blind too, and I didn’t see you coming. By

the way, what kind of animal are you?

Well, I really don’t know, said the bunny. I’m blind, and I’ve never seen

myself. Maybe you could examine me and find out.

So the snake felt the bunny all over, and he said, Well, you’re soft, and

cuddly, and you have long silky ears, and a little fluffy tail and a dear

twitchy little nose… You must be a bunny rabbit!

Then he said, I can’t thank you enough, but by the way, what kind of animal

are you?

And the snake replied that he didn’t know, and the bunny agreed to examine

him, and when he was finished, the snake said, Well, what kind of an animal am

I?

So the bunny felt the snake all over, and he replied, You’re hard,

you’re cold, you’re slimy and you haven’t got any balls… You must be a

lawyer.

The Bunny and the Snake

Once upon a time, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny

and an orphaned snake. By surprising coincidence both were blind from

birth.

One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was

slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.

Oh, my, said the bunny, I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve been blind since birth, so, I can’t see where I’m going. In fact, since I’m also an orphan, I don’t even know what I am.

It’s quite okay, replied the snake. Actually, my story is much the same

as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could kinda slither over you, and figure out what you are, so at least you’ll have that going for you.

Oh, that would be wonderful, replied the bunny.

So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, Well, you’re

covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you

have a soft cottony tail. I’d say that you must be a bunny.

Oh, thank you! Thank you, cried the bunny in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, Maybe I could feel you with my paw, and help you the same way you’ve helped me.

So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, Well, you’re scaly

and smooth, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls. I’d say you must be either a politician, an attorney, or possibly someone in upper

management.

The Bunny & The Snake

Once upon a time, allegedly, in a nice little forest, there lived an orphaned bunny and an orphaned snake. By surprising coincidence both were blind from birth.

One day, the bunny was hopping through the forest, and the snake was slithering through the forest, when the bunny tripped over the snake and fell down. This, of course, knocked the snake about quite a bit.

Oh, my, said the bunny, I’m terribly sorry. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I’ve been blind since birth, so, I can’t see where I’m going. In fact, since I’m also an orphan, I don’t even know what I am.

It’s quite okay, replied the snake. Actually, my story is much the same as yours. I, too, have been blind since birth, and also never knew my mother. Tell you what, maybe I could kinda slither over you, and figure out what you are, so at least you’ll have that going for you.

Oh, that would be wonderful, replied the bunny.

So the snake slithered all over the bunny, and said, Well, you’re covered with soft fur; you have really long ears; your nose twitches; and you have a soft cottony tail. I’d say that you must be a bunny.

Oh, thank you! Thank you, cried the bunny in obvious excitement. The bunny suggested to the snake, Maybe I could feel you with my paw, and help you the same way you’ve helped me.

So the bunny felt the snake all over, and remarked, Well, you’re scaly and smooth, and you have a forked tongue, no backbone and no balls.

I’d say you must be either a computer programmer, or possibly someone in upper management.