How do you fix a womans watch? – It doesnt matter. There is a clock on the oven.
Why shouldnt you tell secrets when a clock is around? Because time will tell.
Why is the time in the USA behind that of England? Because England was discovered before the USA!
Why do people beat their clocks? To kill time.
Why did your sister shoot the alarm clock? Because she felt like killing time.
Why did the man put a clock under his desk? He wanted to work overtime.
Why did the kid put his clock in the oven? He wanted to have a hot time.
Why did the girl sit on her watch? She wanted to be on time.
Why couldnt the clock be kept in jail? Because time was always running out.
While proudly showing off his new apartment to friends, a college student led the way into the den.What is the big brass gong and hammer for? one of his friends asked.That is the talking clock, the man replied.Hows it work? the friend asked.Watch, the student said then proceeded to give the gong an ear shattering pound with the hammer.Suddenly someone screamed from the other side of the wall, KNOCK IT OFF, YOU JERK! Its two AM!