Why wouldnt the vampire eat his soup? It clotted.

Why was the young vampire a failure? Because he fainted at the sight of blood.

Why was the vampire thought of as simple-minded? Because he was a complete sucker.

Why was Dracula always willing to help young vampires? Because he liked to see new blood in the business.

Why is it tough to compete against a vampire? Because theyre always out for blood!

Why is Hollywood full of vampires? They need someone to play the bit parts.

Why does Dracula have no friends? Because hes a pain in the neck.

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin? Because his life is at stake.

Why do vampires hate arguments? Because they make themselves cross.

Why did the vampire take up acting? It was in his blood.