Why do waiters prefer elephants to flies? Have you ever heard anyone complaining of a elephant in their soup?
What will a monster eat in a restaurant? The waiter.
Waiter: Why didnt you make all the food on that long order? Cook: Because Im a short order cook.
Waiter: Why are you taking so long to order? Diner: I cant decide whether I want heartburn or nausea.
Waiter: These are the best eggs weve had for years. Diner: Well, bring me some you havent had around for that long.
Waiter: Im sorry to keep you waiting. Your soup will be ready soon. Customer: What bait are you using?
Waiter: Im sorry I spilled a glass of water on you. Diner: Thats all right. My suit is too large anyway.
Waiter: If you know the food here is so lousy, why do you keep coming back? Customer: It reminds me of my ex-wifes cooking.
Waiter: Tea or coffee, gentlemen? 1st customer: Ill have tea.2nd customer: Me, too – and be sure the glass is clean!(Waiter exits, returns) Waiter: Two teas. Which one asked for the clean glass?
Waiter, your tie is in my soup! Thats all right, sir, its not shrinkable.