Youre hiking around on Hampsted Heath (a park near London) at the end of a long sunny day. You run across (separately) the ghosts of Sir Winston Churchill, Sir Baden Powell, and Sir Edmund Hillary, who all give you directions to the nearest tube stop. Whom dont you believe? Your story teller, for there is no such thing as a completely sunny day in England.

You never get anything right, complained the teacher. What kind of job do you think youll get when you leave school? Well, I want to be the weather girl on TV.

Years ago, Nebraskans got tired of leaning into the wind, having their top soil blown away, and chickens laying their eggs two and three times. Seems the wind continually came down from Canada, and there was nothing between Canada and Nebraska to stop it. The farmers all got together and decided to build a fence across the North Border of the State of Nebraska. . . . the idea being, to stop that cold wind. It mightve worked, too. The barbed wire they used was strong enough, .but the real problem was that a couple owners of farms on the upper boarder kept leaving their gates open.

Why were the vets and pounds mad? It was raining cats and dogs.

Why was the lightning grilled on the stove? To make heat lightning.