Crazy funny things to do in an elevator: or a lift

Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.

Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your Kleenex to other passengers.

Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering:”Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!”

Whistle the first seven notes of It’s a Small World incessantly.

Sell Girl Scout cookies.

On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.

Shave.

Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside ask: “Got enough air in there?”

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.

Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.

When at your floor, strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.

Lean over to another passenger and whisper: Noogie patrol coming!

Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you “Admiral”. 

One word: Flatulence!

Stare, grinning, at another passenger for a while, and then announce: “I’ve got new socks on!”

When at least 8 people have boarded, moan from the back: “Oh, not now… motion sickness!” 

Meow occasionally.

Bet the other passengers you can fit a quarter in your nose.

Frown and mutter Gotta go…Gotta go… then sigh and say Oops!

Show other passengers a wound and ask if it looks infected.

Sing Mary had a little lamb while continually pushing buttons.

Holler Chutes away! whenever the elevator descends.

Walk on with a cooler that says Human Head on the side.

Stare at a passenger and announce You’re one of THEM! and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Burp, and then say Mmmm… tasty!

Leave a box between the doors.

Ask each passenger getting on if you can push the button for them.

Wear a puppet on your hand and talk to other passengers through it.

Start a sing-along.

When the elevator is silent, look around and ask: “is that your beeper?”

Play the harmonica.

Shadow box.

Say Ding! at each floor.

Lean against the button panel.

Say I wonder what all these do and push the red buttons.

Listen to the elevator walls with a stethoscope.

Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and inform the other passengers that this is your personal space.

Bring a chair along.

Take a bite of a sandwich and ask another passenger: Wanna see wha in muh mouf?

Blow spit bubbles.

Pull your gum out of your mouth in long strings.

Carry a blanket and clutch it protectively.

Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

Wear X-Ray Specs and leer suggestively at other passengers.

Stare at your thumb and say “I think it’s getting larger.”

If anyone brushes against you, recoil and holler “Bad touch!”

Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wearyours upside-down.

Sell Boy Scout cookies.

Sing “Mac Arthur Park” loudly, with feeling.

Wrinkle your nose and smell the air repeatedly. Sniff at your neighbor suspiciously, give a disgusted frown, and take a step away.

Try to get a game of “Twister” going.

Crouch in one corner and growl menacingly at everyone who gets on.

As the elevator is going up, jump violently up and down, shouting “Down! I said down, dammit!”

Make chalk drawings on the walls.

Charge into the elevator dripping wet, holding a towel and wearing only a bath robe. Mutter something about how husbands/wives always come home early just when it’s getting to the good part.

Laugh hysterically for five seconds, stop, and glare at the other passengers like they are crazy.

Challenge your neighbor to a “Tic-Tac-Toe” tournament.

Start brushing off invisible bugs from your arms, screaming “Aaughh! Get them off!”

Bring a water pistol. Soak everyone’s shoes.

When it’s crowded, say: ” I just want to say that I feel really close to you guys. “

When it’s crowded, say: “now that I know you on so many levels”

When you get off the elevator, whisper to the others who stayed on, “I’d get off the elevator NOW if I were you.” 

When the other people in the elevator leave, yell “SHARON!”

Hum the “Mission Impossible” theme, speak into your lapel and say “Right, Jim”.

When there is only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you. 

Sit with a desk, pencil cup and a telephone in the elevator. When someone walks in, ask if they have an appointment.

Push a button, pretend it gave you a shock. Smile and go back for more. 

Ask the others in the elevator which floor they’re going to, but push the wrong buttons. 

Call the Psychic Hotline and ask them if they know which floor you’re on. 

Hold the doors open as if you’re waiting for a friend, but then let it close. Say to nobody, “Hey, Wally, how’s it been?” 

Drop a pen, wait for someone to pick it up and then yell, “That’s mine!” 

Put a cardboard box in the corner; when someone gets on ask them if they can hear ticking. 

When the doors close, announce, “Don’t worry, they’ll open again soon.” 

Enforce a group hug. 

Open your purse slightly and say, “Do you have enough air in there?” 

Tell one of the other passengers that you’re sorry, but you’re going to have to let him go. 

Wave hands wildly at invisible flies buzzing around your head. 

On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom. 

Sing along with the Muzak. 

Walk on with a cooler that says “human head” on the side. 

Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce “You’re one of THEM!” and move to the far corner of the elevator.

Announce in a demonic voice: “I must find a more suitable host body.”

While the doors are opening, hurriedly whisper, “Hide it. quick!” then whistle innocently.

 

 

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