A married man goes to confessional and says to the priest, Father, I had an affair with a woman… almost. What do you mean almost? question the priest. Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped. Rubbing together is the same as putting it in, explains the priest. You’re not to go near that woman again. Now, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.
The man leaves confessional, says his prayers, and then walks over to the poor box. He pauses for a moment and then decides to leave. The priest quickly runs over to the man and exclaims, I saw that… you didn’t put any money in the poor box! Well Father, I rubbed up against it and, like you said, it’s the same as putting it in!