I was lying in bed when I thought, Fuck it. If the world is going to end today, I’m going out in style. So I put my dressing gown on, went downstairs and had a bowl of Coco Pops. Then I put some hardcore porn on the TV, and started wanking furiously.
As I finished myself off, I aimed the spunk into my mouth, as I’d always wondered what it would taste like, but as I gulped down the last drops, I started to feel silly. The world wasn’t going to end, it’s just religious bullshit.
So I grabbed the TV remote and said, Right kids, you can have Spongebob back on now.