Government Viruses

Federal Bureaucrat Virus: Divides your hard disk into hundreds of little units, each of which do practically nothing, but all of which claim to be the most important part of the computer.

Dan Quayle Virus #1: They’re is sumthing rong with yor compueter, ewe just can’t figyour out watt.

Dan Quayle Virus #2: Prevents your system from spawning any child processes without joining into a binary network.

Politically Correct Virus: Never calls itself a virus, but instead refers to itself as an electronic micro-organism.

Ross Perot Virus: Activates every component in your system, just before the whole thing quits.

Government Economist Virus: Nothing works, but all of your diagnostic software says everything is fine.

Congressional Virus #1: Computer locks up, screen splits vertically with a message appearing on each half blaming the other side for the problem.

Congressional Virus #2: Runs every program on the hard drive simultaneously but doesn’t allow the user to accomplish anything.

Ollie North Virus: Turns your printer into a document shredder.

Healthcare Virus: Tests your system for a day, finds nothing wrong and sends you a bill for $4,500.

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