Johnny’s neighbour, Mrs Morgan, had a celebrated parrot…

Johnny’s neighbour, Mrs Morgan, had a celebrated parrot.

People from far and wide would come to see the bird

because he was such a wonderful conversationalist. There

was only one drawback – the parrot was obsessed with ducks.

If he saw a duck he had to shag it and unfortunately for Mrs

Morgan there was a farm just across the field and the ducks

were forever being rogered by her obsessed parrot. One day

the farmer came round in a dreadful rage.

“If ever I see your parrot near my ducks again, I’m going to

shoot it dead. My poor ducks are worn out and I won’t be

having it anymore.”

Mrs Morgan turned to her parrot angrily “You hear that, if it

happens again I shall punish you so badly you’ll never forget


A week went by and the parrot behaved himself, but one

afternoon when all was quiet he escaped again to do the evil


“That’s it!” she screamed, and taking a pair of shears from

the garden shed, she cut all the feathers off his head until he

was completely bald. The following day, Mrs Morgan was

hosting a cocktail party and the parrot was put in the corner

and ordered not to move all night. As the guests arrived they

were greeted by their hostess and then the parrot in the

corner who would say loudly but politely “Good evening Sir,

Good evening Madam.”

However, the last two guests to enter were both bald and as

soon as the parrot caught sight of them he screamed,

“OK, you two duck shaggers, over here in the corner with


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