My wife and I have the secrets to making a marriage last…

Two times a week, we go to a nice restaurant, a little wine, good food and companionship. She goes Tuesdays. I go Fridays.

We also sleep in separate beds. Hers is in Florida, mine is in NY.

I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back.

I asked my wife, Where do you want to go for our anniversary?
Somewhere I haven’t been in a long time!
So I suggested, How about the kitchen?

We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

She has an electric blender, electric toaster, and electric bread maker. Then she said There are too many gadgets, and no place to sit down!, so I bought her an electric chair.

My wife told me the car wasn’t running well, there was water in the carburetor. When I asked where the car was, she told me In the lake.

My wife is on a new diet. Coconuts and bananas. She hasn’t lost weight, but BOY, can she climb a tree now!

She got a mudpack and looked great for two days. Then the mud fell off…

She ran after the garbage truck, yelling, Am I too late for the garbage? The driver said, No, jump in!

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