New definitions

The Washington Post’s Mensa Invitational once again
asked readers to take any word from the dictionary,
alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one
letter, and supply a new definition.

Here are this year’s winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund,
which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly (my favorite)

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid
people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The
bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of
breaking down in the near future. (though this is good too)

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for
the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which
renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic
wit and the person who doesn’t get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness. (this also rocks)

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It’s like, when everybody is sending
off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like,
the Earth explodes and it’s like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting
through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to
seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance
performed just after you’ve accidentally walked
through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito,
that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning
and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding
half a worm in the fruit you’re eating.

And the pick of the literature: (This one, too, was
our very favorite. As have others in life, seems that
we’ve encountered an inordinate amount of these types!!) :~)

18. Ignoranus: A person who’s both stupid and an asshole.

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