Performance evaluations

— Since my last report, this employee not only hit rock bottom, he’s begun tunneling.

— His team would follow him anywhere, but only out of morbid curiosity.

— I would not allow this employee to breed.

— This young lady has delusions of adequacy.

— He sets low personal standards and consistently fails to achieve them.

— This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot.

— Clients detest this employee on sight.

— She brings a lot of joy whenever she leaves the room.

— If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he’s the other one.

— A prime candidate for natural de-selection.

— Already donated his brain to science.

— An employee of two minds: one is lost and the other is out looking for it.

— If you give her a penny for her thoughts, you’ll get change.

— Unbelievable that he beat 1,000,000 other sperm to the egg.

— The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead.

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