Reasons nipple rings are a Good idea

* You gain a new and much higher threshold for pain.

* You have more than just your purse to keep from losing your car keys.

* With a little body English and a short copper wire, you can pick up pay-per-view if the weather is right.

* You can now jump car batteries without cables.

* With only a spinning table and spot light you can earn extra cash renting yourself out to Club parties.

* Those nasty stretch marks are no longer the center of attention for your husband or boyfriend.

* You always have a ready replacement if you lose your wedding ring.

* Every elf in the universe is now your loyal friend for life.

* Hanging “ten” is child’s play. Hanging “by two”?? Now that’s impressive!

* Hard vibrators can be “way more” than a girl’s best friend.

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