The bar was empty except for two men…

The bar was empty except for two men and very soon they

got talking and commenting about “life”.

“Let me tell you something, you can find out a lot about a

person very quickly if you know the right question to ask,”

said the pompous one.

“Is that so?” replied the dimwitted man. “Tell me more.”

“Well, say for example that I ask you if you have a dog.”

“I do,” he replied.

“Well, in that case I assume you have a backyard to keep it


“I do,” he replied.

“Then I also assume you have a house to go with the


“I do, I do,” he replied, quite amazed.

“And if you have a house, I think you’re probably married.”

“I am.”

“So I assume you’re not gay.”

“No, I’m not.”

“So there you are,” said the pompous man. “Just by asking

you whether you have a dog I’m able to deduce that you are

married, not gay, and live in a house.”

“That’s astounding,” replied the other, “truly astounding.”

A couple of weeks went by and one Thursday lunchtime the

dimwitted man found himself back in the same bar. Again it

was very quiet apart from a stranger sitting close by.

“Excuse me,” said the man who had been eager to put his

newly acquired knowledge to the test. “May I ask you

whether you have a dog?”

“No I don’t,” replied the stranger. At that, the man quickly

pushed back his chair and headed for the door saying as he

went, “Then I’m not stopping round here with a bloody


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