Why does a pub landlord think his drinkers are rude? Because when he says “Time please” no-one tells him.
What is black and knocking at the door? The Future.
Why do seconds and minutes belong to others? Because they’re not ‘ours.
Man to woman in the street: “Have you got the time?” Woman in reply: “Yes, if you’ve got the money.”
When did the Chinaman go to the dentist? Tooth hurty.