Top 10 Excuses of the Guy Arrested For Smuggling 750 Pounds of Bologna

10. I wanted to get my Christmas shopping done early

9. Used to smuggle drugs, but now everybody’s into the Atkins diet

8. It seemed like a good idea when I was drunk

7. First I get caught mailing myself in a crate and now this

6. Rush Limbaugh has a new addiction

5. If I refused, Oscar Mayer was going to kill my family

4. I can’t bring luncheon meats across the border? What is this, Russia?

3. Was just a decoy for the guy smuggling 800 pounds of olive loaf

2. How about I give you fifty pounds of bologna to make this whole problem go away?

1. It was medical bologna

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