Top 10 Funniest Blonde Jokes

10. Question: If a blonde and a brunette fell off a building, who would hit the ground first?

Answer: The brunette – the blonde would have to stop for directions!

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9. The assistant asked the blonde if she would like her pizza cut into six pieces or twelve.

“Six please” she said, “I could never eat twelve!”

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8. A blonde was walking down the road with a healthy looking pig under her arm. As she passed the bus stop, someone asked,

 

“Where did you get that?”

The pig replied,

“I won her in a raffle!”

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7. A person went into the office kitchen one morning and found a new blonde girl painting the walls. She was wearing a new fur coat and a nice denim jacket.

 

Thinking this was a little strange, he asked her why she was wearing them rather than old clothes or an overall.

 

She showed him the instructions on the tin:

“For best results, put on two coats”.

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6. Two blondes were in a parking lot trying to unlock the door of their car with a coat hanger.

 

First Blonde:

“I can’t seem to get this door unlocked!

 

Second Blonde:

Well you better hurry up. It’s starting to rain and the top is down!

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5.Three blondes were walking through a field when they came across a set of tracks.

 

The first blonde looked down at the tracks and said,

“I think they could be bird tracks.”

 

The second blonde went to look and said,

“No, I think these are deer tracks.”

 

They stepped aside and the third blonde went over to the tracks. She looked down, then got run over by the train!

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4. A blonde asked someone what time it was, and they told her it was 4:45. The blonde, with a puzzled look on her face replied,

“You know, it’s the weirdest thing, I have been asking that question all day, and each time I get a different answer.”

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3. A blonde was driving down the road listening to the radio and was quite upset when she heard blonde joke after blonde joke. A little way down the road, she saw another blonde out in a field rowing a boat. The blonde stopped her car and angrily jumped out yelling:

 

“You dumb blonde bimbo! It’s blondes like you that give the rest of us a bad name! If I could swim I’d come out there and give you what’s coming to you!”

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2. A blonde and a redhead went to the bar after work for a drink, and sat on stools watching the 6 O’clock news. A man was shown threatening to jump from the Brooklyn Bridge, and the blonde bet the redhead $50 that he wouldn’t jump.

 

Sure enough, he jumped, so the blonde gave the redhead $50. The redhead said,

“I can’t take this, you’re my friend.”

 

But the blonde insisted saying,

“No. A bet’s a bet.”

 

Then the redhead said

“Listen, I have to tell you that I saw this on the 5 O’clock news, so I can’t take your money.”

 

The blonde replied

“Well, so did I, but I didn’t think he would jump again!”

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1. A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette.

 

When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.

 

After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and thought,

“Oh! Those sheep are so adorable!”

 

She got out and walked over to the farmer and said,

“If I can guess how many sheep you have, can I take one home?”

The farmer, being a bit of a gambler himself, said she could have a try.

 

The blonde looked at the flock and guessed, “157.”

 

The farmer was amazed – she was right! So the blonde, (who looked like a brunette), picked one out and got back into her car.

 

Before she left, farmer walked up to her and said.

“If I can guess the real color of your hair, can I have my dog back?”

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