Top 10 Good Things About Winning An Academy Award

10. I mentioned Budweiser in my acceptance speech and to this day I get a case a year.

9. I hide a spare house key under my star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame.

8. Back in my day, I had good luck using the line, ‘Wanna polish my Oscar?’

7. Dangle it from your rearview mirror and goodbye speeding tickets.

6. No more of that ‘It’s just an honor to be nominated’ bull.

5. If you forget to rewind, Blockbuster generally looks the other way.

4. On camping trips, the Oscar is great for pounding in tent stakes.

3. A lot of people don’t know this, but the head screws off and there’s Bourbon inside.

2. Do you realize Mr. Genius Albert Einstein never won an Academy Award?

1. There’s a good chance Paris Hilton will make a sex video with you.

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