Q. What happens to a frog’s car when it breaks down?
A. It gets toad away.
A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper, “Does your dog bite?”
The shopkeeper says, “No, my dog does not bite.”
The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. “Ouch!” He says, “I thought you said your dog does not bite!”
The shopkeeper replies, “That is not my dog!”
Q. Why did the lion brake up with his girlfriend?
A. Cuz she was a CHEETAH!
Snake 1: ‘Are we poisonous?’
Snake 2: ‘I don’t know, why?’
Snake 1: ‘I just bit my lip.’
Q. What did the elephant say to the naked man?
A. “How do you breathe through something so small?”
A man went to sell his dog. A buyer asked him, “Is this dog faithful?”
The man replied, “Yes,I have sold him 3 times but he returns to me.”
Q. Why did the duck get arrested?
A. because he was selling quack
Q: What did the duck say when he bought lipstick?
A: “Put it on my bill.”
There was a papa mole, a momma mole, and a baby mole. They lived in a hole out in the country near a farmhouse. Papa mole poked his head out of the hole and said, “Mmmm, I smell sausage!” Momma mole poked her head outside the hole and said, “Mmmm, I smell pancakes!” Baby mole tried to stick his head outside but couldn’t because of the two bigger moles. Baby mole said, “The only thing I smell is molasses.”
A snake slithers into a bar and the bartender says, ‘Sorry, buddy. I can’t serve you.’
‘Why not?’ the snake asks.
‘Because you can’t hold your liquor.’