Top 10 Resolutions for Men

10. Find out why all my clothes have shrank. Again.

9. Read that book, “Stop Procrastinating” that I bought three years ago.

8.  Figure out why supermodels don’t want to date plain, bald men as the media has led me to believe.

7. Prepare for the zombie apocalypse.

6. Prepare for dating supermodels in the zombie apocalypse (it could happen, right?)

5. Vamp up that eHarmony profile with some spiffy pics of ex-girlfriends half cut off in every profile picture. That’s attractive, right?

4. Mention in eHarmony how I’m a great date and can zap a zombie.

3. Stock up on beer.

2. Stock up on condoms just in case!

1. Get a job.

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