Top Ten Things Overheard Last Night at the Florida Election Commission

10. “The first vote goes to Gore…call CNN and tell them Gore won.” 9. “Wait, if my wet laundry is in the ballot box…oh my god! Stop the dryer!” 8. “If someone voted for ‘the jerk,’ do I give it to Gore or Bush?” 7. “Let’s be extra careful, because every single vote counts…ha, ha, ha, ha, just kidding!” 6. “120… 121… 122! Yes! I’m the ballot-eating champion!” 5. “This is much easier than my last job designing tires for Firestone” 4. “America must never know Ralph Nader actually won the election” 3. “Discard all these votes for Bush — they’re obviously left over from 1992” 2. “I’m sure gonna miss you guys when this is over. If only there was a way to make it last a few more days…” 1. “Heads Bush… Tails Gore”

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